Note to myself

I was hanging out with my friends, and one of them actually asked me if I was a model. No, I mean.. I don't really know her so much. We met for the first time that day, really. But I was so pleased with what she said.. I started to think about it. What if I was really a model? Not like Kate Moss or something, but a model who gets paid what- just a little? But imagine what I could do with all that money! For example.. I could possibly buy a new camera, or new clothes!

Just that I could never ever tell any of my friends. Maybe one or two, but not a single more. They would laugh. And what would it even bring? Laughter from the whole school. (in our everyone knows everything. Like last week: one very sweet pair broke up, and in fifteen minutes one of my friends came laughing to class: Lisa and David broke up! Isn't that funny? I always knew Lisa was such a bitch!" And I sit on my chair like: poor them.) So in our school there is no privacy whatsoever. Aanyway. I guess there is no point at all. I'm not that pretty like a model should be, I guess. Oh, well. But the idea was pretty. Ha! I could imagine my parents watching some tv-show, and then someone calls them like: "What has your daughter been doing last times?" And they are:" Oh, we're so proud of her: she's got a boyfriend, at last!" And then that person who's calling says: "Oh that's what you think, really? Well, watch this website, she's a model now! How shameful!" And my dad would stand up and tell me everything he thinks about me humiliating them, and even mum would be ashamed. Oh, I'd be so happy. *dreamy*

But well. I searched for some modelling agencies, and the only ones we have here are.. Some random, nearly dead agency with three over fifty-years-old models. Female, of course. And as they say on their website: "No nude pictures for our girls!" Perfect. Okay, I'm on the same page with that no nude pics, but that they call themselves girls.. *horrified.*

Then there is a model agency where Sharon is. She's a very (oh, and remember: on this blog every single name is not real, I'm not that stupid to let anyone even guess my true identity..) popular girl in our region. Like .. with whom can I even compare her. Maybe with.. Anne Hathaway? A girl very pretty and oh so nice, her parents go to church every single sunday, pray so loud no one wants to know what they are not praying for.. okay, maybe I'm little overdoing it now. But she's just.. I don't know. Too perfect? And no, I'm not saying that Anne Hathaway would be so. But Sharon is. When she turns up at some boring school meeting our teachers sit more straight. Ha! I know who she might be alike. Know Footloose? The movie? Well, she could be that girl, the preachers daughter, dating a nice guy, but from the view of few single people, she's a moron. Sorry, Sharon. So.. Her modeling agency. It's big. It's famous. And it's owned by some of "Sharon's best friends families." As one of my friends says every time.

Maybe I should just forget about it.

Note to myself: never dream of something what you surely can't have. For example being a model.

I guess I don't have the guts to call or e-mail any agencies, because they might refuse me. And if not, they might want to take pictures. And then, on both sides, something would happen.

Shakespeare in Love

Hi!

Last thursday was one

of the weirdest thursdays in my life.

Accidently, I run into my friend

I long hadn't seen.

She lives in another town,

so it was a railwaysstation we met.

We sat there for hours.

On the bench spitten on

by every early teenage boy in town

we sat, and talked.

First it was about shopping,

the play in her school and then.

We came to the subject of Love.

I had always thought I knew a person well

if she or he was known to me

by the name, profession and the interests.

How one flirted, walked, talked

and behaved near the opposite sex.

But I knew nothing then.

She told me what she seeked,

in the area of Love,

and I told her mine.

There were thousands things

which neither of us knew ourself,

but by the moment we opened our mouths

the words, wishes, feelings and most secret dreams

were christal clear to both of us.

Quite possibly, I know,

I still don't know her as well as I do myself,

but in the end, who do we know as well?

In a mood of romance

I 'invested' in a lipstick called 'Blush in Romance'.

Kill me but I do not know by whom it was.

Just after that I went to a dvd-shop

(where they still sell vhs- how cute)

and still in the mood, bought the Shakespeare in Love.

Now I've watched it.

1998 it was made,

and a good movie indeed it is.

It is a movie of Shakespeares three weeks of love.

Three weeks of Love,

breathing at last,

after years of living dead.

He falls in Love, writes about it,

living in a dream which will soon end.

Yes, there is a trick-

no one will ever deny it now.

She's marrying a man of fortune,

not a poet with non-existing career.

And if we think about Shakespeare himself

what do we know about him?

Just what he wrote.

But even that will tell us enough.

He must have loved

or dreamed of love

for none of us humans can write anything

like he wrote

if not telling about himself

or a person he knew as well.

But maybe he was just never

in fortunes favours enough

to fall in love.

Oh dear. I feel like a parrot now. But since there are only few people who have written to me commenting anything I write here, it's okay. (I guess)

-Ellen

The Last Song

After seeing the movie 'the last song' I wanted to do somekind of a review on it. Then I thought about other films I have been watching lately. And decided to do a top three thingie.

Firstly, The Last Song.

The movie is about a broken family, and the main character is the teenage girl of this family. She's brilliant with piano, and her dad, who's living now on the beach, had always been teaching her. Now, the summer after high school, she's trapped in a small town with her little brother, no friends and dad she absolutely hates. But after something like a half an hour, she gets a milk shake thrown on her and a very cute guy saying sorry for like five minutes. What happens next is actually not something one would thing at the first or even the second minute of the movie. (and this is not a spoiler, so no hard feelings) I have to admit, I usually don't like Miley Cyrus' movies. Nearly always because they are just too.. American. I love how Miley is always happy and all smiley and even if she's failing something, something better happens in five minutes. Yeeah, that is possible by us, all non-Mileys, but c'mon, I wait at least a week before my luck changes. So.. in this movie it was nice and somehow calming to see her in a role where not everything is perfect, where she actually hates someone and doesn't smile all the time. Like a normal face in between. Sometimes.

I was watching this movie with my friend, whom I hadn't seen for a long time. (okay, not that long. Since christmas..?!) And, as you know, a girl always wants to look descent when meeting a guy after long time. It's like.. like meeting an old schoolfriend after five years of not seeing or hearing of her. Or.. if you see an ex-boyfriend. You seriously want to look perfect. So after spending hours and hours doing my hair and nails and make-up and choosing slightly sexy clothes. Just a little bit. (and now we all shall forget all the time I spent in the stores looking for some trendy, fitting things.. And anyways, I needed them.) We go into the town, he looking incredible, and then come the words which I didn't want to hear. "honey, let's go and watch the Last Song, I know you want to see it anyways, so why not with me?". What I wanted to scream in the middle of our little shopping street was: "Freaking NO! Why the hell would I want to watch a film where every single girl cries with you?" I actually think you know what I did- went and watched it. And so fucking what, if I cried in front of a guy I fancy. No. I don't fancy him. He's just a really hot guy. But back to the movie: in the middle of the film I understood my eyeliner was on my cheeks, as he brushed my cheek with his hand. :) wanna know how happy I was about that?

The second movie will be now so much spoken of, The Kick-Ass!

I watched it with a bunch of girls, we laughed so much the poor kiddo near me was scared the whole time..

The movie is about a guy who's all that nerdy, and comes to this idea: why doesn't anyone just be a superhero and try to change the world?

So he does it, buys a suit and with the perfect world of Youtube (wuhuu!) he does it: becomes famous, and finds his dreamgirl and so on and on and on. Funny, and smart. And it actually gives many things we should think about: we (not even we in the small city where everyone knows each other) don't help an other man whom we don't know. And we don't want even to see it. We turn around and walk another way. And why is that? Because we don't want to take the hate on ourselves?

-Ellen.

p.s. And yes, I know, I didn't take here he third movie. But it's late. And I'm exhausted. Sorry.

My Friend Elzi

I was shopping today. With a good friend of mine, actually. Or no. She's.. it's complicated. If I had to name one girl who was most alike as Becky from Shopaholic, it would be her. Let's name her.. Elizi. She's petite, would be tomboy if wasn't all that girly and into fashion. She's nice. Truly is. Like everyone is, not that horrific like many girls can be. Just that she uses more money than anyone else. I mean on trendy things. Which look mostly ok on her, not that special but still. And then, sometimes she has this horrific idea about looking unique..

Nah, anyways today we were with her in H&M and few other places. I swear, she tried nearly every single thing in there, and in the end called her mother to ask for money. I mean.. Okay, I could understand she pays everything on her own, but when she was disapproved by her mother (who was actually really stressy about Elizi being in stores at all) ofcourse she was not allowed to buy anything. Promise, this is not a lie: she began to cry. To freakin' CRY! I sat near her, in the middle of H&M and thought about every single second I had spend in changing rooms waiting for her, so she would cry refused in the middle of everything. She has her birthday in few weeks, and I won't probably see her until summer. I made her the present she wanted: I bought it for her. I know, shouldn't have done it. But c'mon, what was I supposed to do? Stand up and say: 'honey, sorry, I will just buy these things now, then I shall be off with you where ever you want to go'. No way.

I was also listening today to Kid British. I absolutely love their music! It has some twist in it, and every song is always like a new experience. What I like most about them, would probable be their funny song Elizabeth and how they change every time they make a new song.

Aand I bought some things, too. :) I probably will consider about putting some pictures of them here..

Maybe someday, for I am now not ready for that.

Ray Bradbery and Kurt Vonnegut

Hi again.

Today in school, we had a "Happy Day". Yes, we need in our school something like that. Anyway, I signed myself to some random things- playing with kids, some belly dance and other activities.

First, Playing with kids. They are really sweet, that's not the matter. Just that after three hours with small kids even a three years younger guy looks wonderful and sexy. No, really.

Imagine this: they guy is half of my heigh, has long, red hair (even longer than I have). Plus, he is the little brother of a guy who is just a year older than I am. And is dating a girl who's freaking four years younger than I am. So when my time was over, and I had to say bye-bye to them all, I nearly freaking kissed him. And no offence to everyone, I just don't think that would have been such a good idea.

Belly dance, not that great. You know those situations, when you actually get a clap from everyone else, like 'gosh, you should start to do this professionally, you're the best!' but the same time you know you look just ridicilous, and there's no thing more idiotic.

That was my 'Happy Day'.

after school, I read how Fahrenheit 451 came to public. Playboy. Freaking Playboy. I have been thought that Playboy is 'readable only if you're blind, no one will respect you if you will read it, blaahblaahblaah'. So take that. Not only Kurt Vonnegut has been featured in the magazine, but also Vladimir Nabokov, Doris Lessing and John Irving.

I asked a guy I know, what is actually in Playboy. He answered nearly like this: "well. Firstly there are these.. pictures. Then, when men are already done with them, they watch, what else is in there. And they suddently realize they have hang all the nails in all their life. No, honey, not that I would read.. or subscribe the magazine.. Oh honey, I love your shoes!"

I actually want to know what other men would answer me. My dad started to laugh. (he thought it was a joke) when he understood that I was serious, he said I was thinking nonsence and blaahblaahblaah.

And I think I would maybe want to see a Playboy magazine now. What do they have in there?!

-Ellen

Fashion Tips and Blogs

Sorry, Elle (the magazine)

because this will be now a short summary of those "50 Tips from the Stylish on how to Shop The Highstreet". (given between the Elle April Issue) It was all amazing, but (and there is always a But!) I didn't like every single of those tips. So here is my summary of the best ones. (with my own comments)

01. Write a wish list

"At the beginning of every season, write a hit list of pieces and choose a palette to work with." Moriamo Oshodi, head of womenswear buying, Asos.

Make it even more: choose those textures you are ready to work with. If silk isn't your thing, and now in fashion, give it a chance, and if it still feels wrong, drop the whole idea.

02. Join the Insiders

"Log on to prshots.com where you can find images of the high-street stores' present and forthcoming collections. That way, you can go to each store with an item in mind." Susie Lau, aka fashion blogger Susie Bubble.

Try it. And even if you don't like- you will be probably the only one of your friends who knows what high-street is coming up with next.

03. Identify your Style Icons

Remember: you don't have to wear whole Audrey Hepburn- wibe, you will just have some inspiration with movies/pictures.

04. Invest in Classics

"A pair of elegant court shoes should be a wardrobe staple. My favourites this season are our taupe suede pointed courts with contrasting black patent toes- timeless." Annick Gorman, creative director, LK Bennett.

Think about those things you use every season, no matter what is the trend. Possibly a black, ruffled top or plain white summer dress? Invest in them, and no matter what, you can always be more trendy with adding some jewels.

05. Stay Hands Free

"Never take a handbag on a high-street mission- you need both hands to shop. Just shove a small compact mirror (so you can see how you look from all angles) and your credit card in your hand pockets." Lulu Kennedy, director, Fashion East

Totally true. When shopping, it is impossible to have a heavy backpack/purse in your hands. It will take all your concentration.

06. Chronicle your Wardrobe

"Go through your clothes to make sure you have all the basic foundation pieces you'll need to built your new-season wardrobe. Try on your purchases with your existing wardrobe and if they don't go with anything you already got, be prepared to take things back." Elika Gibbs, founder of wardrobe service Practical Princess

Maybe one of the smartest advices. Your basic is always your closet at this moment, so if the thing just doesn't fit in, you have to take it back. And "the not coolness of taking things back" is not a issue for a smart girl!

07. Get to know each store's strenght

"Gap is brilliant for basic; Cos is a great place to buy a nice pair of city shorts. " Erin Mullaney, buying director, Browns.

As long as you don't dress from one store only, you will look great. Just imagine: a Lacoste t-shirt, shorts, headband and shoes. Can you get more clishe?

08. Customize

"I always like to customize my high-street purchases by raising hemlines, turning t-shirts into dresses .. that way I know that my clothes will always look unique." Ben Grimes, model and designer.

It's not that hard. All you need is inspiration. And Time.

09. Be Intrepid

"Shop outside your comfort zone- it helps you avoid buying the same thing. By trying things you didn't consider "your style", you'll discover something new and add another dimension to your look." Susie Wong, Bargainista Fashionista blogger

Just one tip: if you are from a small town with the norm of someway not expressing yourself through clothes, don't go extreme with the first time walking outside. (the rumors will kill your happiness at first anyway)

10. Mix and Match

"Always buy basics like cool tank tops and leggings from the high street. You can layer them under bodices and mix them up with designer and vintage pieces for a really individual look." Annette Felder, designer, Felder Felder

Also look for cheap jewels, and nice head bands.

11. Timing is Everything

"shop mid-morning on a Monday. It's the time when the shops tend to be restocking the floor, so you can usually find a much better selection of sizes."Margo Stilley, actress

Totally true- ever shopped in stores before noon? The assistants at shops much more friendly, and smiling. Go and try! Ps. if you should sit at that time in school/work/sth else, give yourself a well worked break at that time you want, and go shopping. Or skip few classes every now and then. No one can concentrate oneself on boring maths/work, if they are thinking about shopping.

12. Be Decisive

"As indulgent and consumerist as it sounds, never think twice about a high-street purchase if it fits like a dream and gets you excited. The fast stock turnover in shops means you won't find it again it you want." Carrie Gorman, acting web editor, ELLEUK.com

Just think about how many more great purchases would you have, if you hadn't thought that time about everything else, and not walked to the cashier. Depressed? Should be.

13. Accessorise

"Accessories are a good way to buy into the trends of the season, whatever your shape, lifestyle and budget. With more high-street retailers expanding their ranges, the choise is ever-incraising." Belle Robinson, co-owner of Jigsaw.

It is the cheapest and fastest way to look trendy at the time. (and you can always throw the shit in garbage after using just twice- it has by then payed off. No. Just kidding. Customizing accessories is great. I, for example, never throw mine away- they are great memos and add nice touch to my wall.

14. Stick to your budget

"To prevent yourself over-shopping, give yourself a budget, take out the exact cash and leave your credit card safely at home." Stacey Duguid, executive fashion editor, ELLE

Stacey knows what she's talking. Ever had nightmares at the last week of the month, just about your Visa overdue? Save yourself and be happy sleeping with not eating just soup the last weeks. DO as the tip says. And don't borrow money from your friends/family to do shopping, you will still have to give it back someday.

15. Don't be sexist

"Men's departments are a great place to have a rummage. H&M men's collections have some really cool pieces with great details. They're cut more narrowly than a lot of menswear, so they're easier to wear as unisex. H&M is a good place to start if you've never worn menswear before." Donna Wallace, accessories editor, ELLE

And save your boyfriends nerves- apparently they don't like if you dig like a goldhunter in their closets. Why so?

16. Staple it

"Five key staples that never go out of fashion are a really good soft jersey-cotton tee, a great pair of Converse, a classic black stiletto, a black cashmere V-neck and a white shirt, all of which you can find on the high-street at affordable prices." Bonnie Rakhit, market and merchandising editor, ELLE

Check if you have these.. And be sure they fit perfectly. My day saviour is usually jeans (perfect fit!), good and comfy pair of shoes (no matter if they are stilettos or converse) and the cashmere V-neck. Comfy, and some think boring. But a saviour of the day!

17. Pick your moment

"Never try shoes at the end of a long day on the high street because your feet will have swollen and you could end up buying the wrong size." Sarah Fox, press and marketing executive, Bertie and Pied a Terre

Why didn't they teach this in the first class?! I would have spared many nerves of myself and other people just knowing this all my life. And they say they teach vice things in school.

18. Final Thought..

"Don't ever shop in the high street when you're hungover, when there is full moon or when tyou have PMT. This will impair your judgement- guaranteed." Mademoiselle, columnist, ELLE

Lock yourself (or at least all your money resources and credit cards) at home when those three happen to be at the same time. Or actually, if you really want to go to therapy for the next 57 years, be my guest.

and one thing: even if you hate some fashion bloggers, check few blogs to know what people not in your town wear, Can be refreshing sometimes. If you want to go really outlandish-check "extreme lands" (by which I mean small, not well known lands. Supricing, they have many bloggers.)

-Ellen.

School life

This one will be just complaining about my life now.

School life sucks. It is not possible to understand how the teachers enjoy the feeling on our faces when we realize that all the tests are on the next few weeks. Oh dear. And I will have to write two tests on the same subject next two days. Like I didn't have any other life.

.. I guess the teachers are right. I don't- have any kind of life nowadays.

I found our old camera today. (as I was "learning for some tests.." you wish.) It is so old.. if I am exact, it should be 12,5 years old now. And for few years (or more, actually) no one has taken any photos with it. An old Canon. And so sweet! I am thinking about starting to use it and that I will put here my first picture.

.. Just that I can't tell my friends about anything, for they might come up this blog in some days- gosh I hate this.

-And now I should really not hang out here, only because I will fail anyways the test.

-Ellen.