Holiday's fashion

Hi..

Today is so miserable day, just because it's the holiday's, I am feeling dizzy and sick, and outside there's snow and cold.

I must confess something. I hate Valentine's day. This year specially. Because of many things: Firstly, I have in my "groupie", are eight people. From those eight girls, three truly hate me. Or no, I don't believe that. We have just some different points of life. And both sides always understand that. Which is in the end pretty sad. We don't have anything else in common, just school and same group. After the school, I don't believe I will ever hear anything from them. Maybe just to their wedding, I guess. Anyway, I gave all the others really great presents but two of them didn't get anything. What I am afraid, they will someday find out. Not that they would hear about the presents from someone. But I think, this is something I would rather drag to the grave.

Valentine's day should be a happy day. Still, for me, it is one of the most challenging days in the whole year. Maybe you have seen already the film, "Valentine's Day". And there is the party, where they say: I hate Valentine's day. Or something like that.

If someone will be ever reading this, who actually knows whom I am talking about, this might be important to know. He went there. He freakin' went to the dance. Just because I'm stuck in some different country and we are fighting, doesn't mean we broke up. Or does it? I am confused. I must understand, he doesn't respect me enough to skip a night of Valentine's day dance. Or he is really in love with that other girls. Because if that wasn't so, he hadn't ever come in there. But he did.

Oh, forget that horrific day, Ellen. It is long gone.

I must say, I have this weird season going on. I feel sad all the time, I don't have any creativity left.

Fashion.. Something that should help me. I cut always from random magazines articles. This is one of them, which I thought was pretty cool.

Few rules of Fashionista:

1. believe in yourself. Even if others say the combination looks awful, wear it. You might hate yourself for that later but on that moment it's like freedom to you.

2. Forget every rule and do whatever you want with your clothes. If you consider burning them, please don't- there are many poor people who would actually need those clothes.

3. There is not a single man in this world who would actually care what you are wearing- not if he is not in the boyfriend/one night stand and then lover- area.

I guess this is it..

Ellen

Chaika

I was once asked, which main character I would be. From any book of film. At that time, I couldn't say. I mean, I could have answered Julia from Rome&Julia or Bella from Twilight. Just because that's what most girls want, isn't it? True love, and that he would die for you. Still, is that what we really want? To love passional for a moment and then die? I guess so. Or is that only the ideal way for thing to go? Julia was thirteen years old when she met Romeo. Bella- seventeen. Romeo died with Juliet. So I believe I'm running out of time.

Shaekspare must have argued a lot. I wonder if he had found his Julia. Really, I would guess no. Because if I'm right, only a brokenhearted man (or the one who never loved) would have been capable to write something like that- and we, all other people, decided to see the romance in it. Or was he happy?

Anyways, I understood yesturday, which character I am. You probably know Tsehov. He wrote many great plays, and one of them would be "Chaika", which means on English somekind of bird.

Anna is Jasper?

One of the things I hate is.. when I feel myself stupid. And what I'm talking about is feeling stupid in things like.. well, like the situation I will describe next:

It happened on wednesday evening. I had my after class "school" where I basically had to do some exams and things like that. Not that fun, actually. Anna, a girl I know, came there too, and sat next to me. I should probably mention something about her. She's really pretty, and still never was a moron. Just slightly annoying sometimes. That kind of girl you would actually want to know. Like when she sits near you, you are just so freakin' happy about it. Even if she doesn't say you anything. You could understand her "skills" or "talent" only if you compare her with Jasper from Twilight. So I was really high when we talked the whole hour about some random girlish things. After the class, when we stood there just talking randomly, when he, the cleverest and maybe even nerdiest boy came over, and she leaned over to kiss him. I guess, you would say I was just going mental crazy. You're probably right. But the Jasper thing was going over and over. It was so freaky, I watched them kiss and go away, and I didn't even feel anyhow jealous. I was extremely happy for them. Even if she's not in love with him. And maybe he's not her. Still, the feeling of mine was only miserably happy. I hadn't felt so happy in maybe two weeks. Sadly, this is not even a joke.

xoxo, Ellen