Holiday's fashion

Hi..

Today is so miserable day, just because it's the holiday's, I am feeling dizzy and sick, and outside there's snow and cold.

I must confess something. I hate Valentine's day. This year specially. Because of many things: Firstly, I have in my "groupie", are eight people. From those eight girls, three truly hate me. Or no, I don't believe that. We have just some different points of life. And both sides always understand that. Which is in the end pretty sad. We don't have anything else in common, just school and same group. After the school, I don't believe I will ever hear anything from them. Maybe just to their wedding, I guess. Anyway, I gave all the others really great presents but two of them didn't get anything. What I am afraid, they will someday find out. Not that they would hear about the presents from someone. But I think, this is something I would rather drag to the grave.

Valentine's day should be a happy day. Still, for me, it is one of the most challenging days in the whole year. Maybe you have seen already the film, "Valentine's Day". And there is the party, where they say: I hate Valentine's day. Or something like that.

If someone will be ever reading this, who actually knows whom I am talking about, this might be important to know. He went there. He freakin' went to the dance. Just because I'm stuck in some different country and we are fighting, doesn't mean we broke up. Or does it? I am confused. I must understand, he doesn't respect me enough to skip a night of Valentine's day dance. Or he is really in love with that other girls. Because if that wasn't so, he hadn't ever come in there. But he did.

Oh, forget that horrific day, Ellen. It is long gone.

I must say, I have this weird season going on. I feel sad all the time, I don't have any creativity left.

Fashion.. Something that should help me. I cut always from random magazines articles. This is one of them, which I thought was pretty cool.

Few rules of Fashionista:

1. believe in yourself. Even if others say the combination looks awful, wear it. You might hate yourself for that later but on that moment it's like freedom to you.

2. Forget every rule and do whatever you want with your clothes. If you consider burning them, please don't- there are many poor people who would actually need those clothes.

3. There is not a single man in this world who would actually care what you are wearing- not if he is not in the boyfriend/one night stand and then lover- area.

I guess this is it..

Ellen

Chaika

I was once asked, which main character I would be. From any book of film. At that time, I couldn't say. I mean, I could have answered Julia from Rome&Julia or Bella from Twilight. Just because that's what most girls want, isn't it? True love, and that he would die for you. Still, is that what we really want? To love passional for a moment and then die? I guess so. Or is that only the ideal way for thing to go? Julia was thirteen years old when she met Romeo. Bella- seventeen. Romeo died with Juliet. So I believe I'm running out of time.

Shaekspare must have argued a lot. I wonder if he had found his Julia. Really, I would guess no. Because if I'm right, only a brokenhearted man (or the one who never loved) would have been capable to write something like that- and we, all other people, decided to see the romance in it. Or was he happy?

Anyways, I understood yesturday, which character I am. You probably know Tsehov. He wrote many great plays, and one of them would be "Chaika", which means on English somekind of bird.

Anna is Jasper?

One of the things I hate is.. when I feel myself stupid. And what I'm talking about is feeling stupid in things like.. well, like the situation I will describe next:

It happened on wednesday evening. I had my after class "school" where I basically had to do some exams and things like that. Not that fun, actually. Anna, a girl I know, came there too, and sat next to me. I should probably mention something about her. She's really pretty, and still never was a moron. Just slightly annoying sometimes. That kind of girl you would actually want to know. Like when she sits near you, you are just so freakin' happy about it. Even if she doesn't say you anything. You could understand her "skills" or "talent" only if you compare her with Jasper from Twilight. So I was really high when we talked the whole hour about some random girlish things. After the class, when we stood there just talking randomly, when he, the cleverest and maybe even nerdiest boy came over, and she leaned over to kiss him. I guess, you would say I was just going mental crazy. You're probably right. But the Jasper thing was going over and over. It was so freaky, I watched them kiss and go away, and I didn't even feel anyhow jealous. I was extremely happy for them. Even if she's not in love with him. And maybe he's not her. Still, the feeling of mine was only miserably happy. I hadn't felt so happy in maybe two weeks. Sadly, this is not even a joke.

xoxo, Ellen

Rules: Section Love and Heartbreak, Nr1

So, today is.. sunday morning! Wonderful!

Ehm.. that was something called sarcastic comment. Anyway, I haven't done any homework nor anything clever on my weekend now. Watched The Hills.. :P They are great! I mean, for us people, who don't have any life and actually know it.

Oh, and here I actually come to the point, why I am sitting on sunday morning writing anything in True Lying Pigeon. Hey, I could call this always TLP! :D Oh dear. What a happy morning. So not.

There are some moral norms, and if one thinks a little bit more about the theme, one can actually see that every person in this world has those moral norms differently as all the others. As I thought about it, I decided to do my own roles/moral norms list.. Where I could actually add something every now and then, so that I could understand myself, why am I thinking so or that way.

Rules A-Z

Section Love and Heartbreak,

Nr1: Don't read Twilight or any other romantic book/watch any romantic film/whatsoever, if you have a potential break up-situation/ the possible Love of your Life is actually saying he's dating another girl.

How I came to this rule:

Now, this is terrifying. I mean, I haven't actually told anyone about this. I guess he was in my section Hide and Love. Okay, he isn't.. wasn't.. bad looking, I would have said he's quite handsome on some level. His brown eyes.. Oh dear. I just can't say no to anyone who has brown eyes and those black glasses on him.. What I AM TALKING ABOUT? Okay, he had brown eyes, handsome, sometimes annoying, didn't care about anything but himself and his clothes.. (If I hadn't known him better, I would have said he was gay.. but he wasn't. :/) So, we knew each other for nearly six years. Had one terrible date. Maybe I am just jealous because all the other girls were really dating him, I had only one.. And it was also terrible. Anyways, I am jealous person. And he was kind of bad boy, in that James Bond style. Just that this guy had much less style. On his phone, I believe, were only the numbers of girls.. He had always the newest technics and when some band was becoming popular he had just chilled with them somewhere. Or was there when they recorded their album. Just that I didn't ever think he had really met them. But.. what can I say? Having this blog here.. I can't say he was lying.

Now, yesterday.. (it was saturday) I read the whole day (sometimes watching The Hills) Twilight by Stephanie Mayer. So no hard feelings if I say: yeah, Edward is maybe a hot vampire, but the whole thing is about his relationship to Bella, so he's not coming to date anyone of the fans.. When reading Twilight, one would have been lying if one said one wasn't dreaming about a relationship like that. And I won't lie now here: I sat maybe an hour, dreaming what would happen if I moved to some little place and found a handsome guy who would truly love me. As always. thanks to Facebook, I was ready to look at his pictures (naah, I knew he wasn't my Prince Charming nor my Edward but still.. He was a good start, wasn't he?) So I sat on my table (every now and then..) and almost fell down as I saw his update: In relationship with V. H. Well.. Sorry now, but I almost laughed. Then I understood, he had all those girls around him, so he wouldn't write something just as a bad joke. So, my dream about him being my Edward/Prince Charming just fell down. From high to hell.

and then I wanted to make a video "Bubbles" and I found my camera was broken. :/

Ellen

P.S. I think this Ellen name is so cool! i mean really, come on.. There are millions of Ellen's in this world, so no one should actually understand who I am.. :P Even if one finds this blog.. Or is this all then just another lie?

HItting knees and make-up artists

I had a complicated day today. First of all, I lied to my friends few times. The biggest lie was about my morning: as the school began at ten, and I have to drive with the bus for nearly fifteen minutes. So I woke up at eight, made a great a great English breakfast (baked beans, toast, no sausage, hot chocolate, bacon, and on and on..) and read the paper. Still, I came five minutes too late to the class. (caused by the bus, btw) Anyway, what I told my friends was: I woke up at six am and made a great make-up and started to do a video. WTF?! Firstly: I can't even do the eyeliner properly, so what the hack did I say that for? Now they are convinsed, I am a perfect make-up artist. Second thing is that with my parents sleeping at that time, there wouldn't be any point of waking them up. And then, why would I even have been doing a video?

Today I was also hit by a woman who was opening a metallic door. It hit my knee so hard I even folded.

I guess the nicest thing I did today.. was probably when I started to plan the Valentines day gifts. We were in a store, where she saw the perfect jeans for her. But since her parents are now a little bit tight about her spending her own money (she bought a little bit too much last time.. happens to all of us) And unlikely of me, she doesn't lie to anyone, even if her life would depend on it. I really must admit, I respect her. So what I figured now out: we would give her a gift card to that store.. Maybe mean to her parents, but those are the perfect jeans, what can you do?

It actually turns out, it is possible to get caught on the lies. It's pretty easy..

Ellen.

Sad song

It took me maybe five minutes to start the blog. But it took all my lifetime to understand that what I am doing isn't right.

Today was a nice day. I had to wake up early, instead I woke up an hour too late. Which made me skip the breakfast and run as a crazy to the bus. I was sitting on my regular place, as the driver started to sing a song I had somewhere heard. Maybe you know, one of those songs which make your heart tear at that moment, but few moments later you just forget the song, and all the work and feelings the singer and writer (and all the other people) had made. And that's what I think is the most sad thing in the story. I couldn't say what the name of it was, or why he actually sang it, but the thing I understood, I could remember the situation: the driver had an bright smile, he had an chocolate dark skin and his voice was low, something near Jack Johnson. He smiled to everyone, and between the stops he sang. I must sound stupid, but since this is where I will write the things really happen. Because as I have noticed, I am actually capable to lie. A lot. To everyone. So, even if I lie here, it will be only away from me.

I will be actually doing a video next friday. True. Totally.

Ellen.