Photos of Miself

Hi!

I know, I know. With adding these I am actually getting so bloggy it has no sence at all. But. Anyway, these are few photos I made with my old camera I told about. It's pretty huge, if I think about it. Just that if you would have seen how many photos were just crap. (no even crappy. Sad.)

The photo (up) was so easy to shoot.. Just not. The sun was just going down, remember, I shot these in april, and I was freezing. Plus, I was actually amazed: these places are not a common knowledge. Naah, everyone knows about these routes, but never uses them. So that thursday after everything crappy at school, I walked at the lake and met nearly half of the town. Scary.
The lake is amazing. Sometimes when new ones see it, they can't believe it is just a lake, nothing else. And it is beautiful!
These two (up ad down) are my favorites. The lightning (photo under) is maybe one of my best. And just the idea (Up, even though nearly everyone before me has done a photo like this) was brilliant. Just that it was a pure accident, the kid and his dad.
So.. Now I have shown my fab pictures. I*m tired. Heading towards the bed now, I guess..

-Ellen.

Note to myself

I was hanging out with my friends, and one of them actually asked me if I was a model. No, I mean.. I don't really know her so much. We met for the first time that day, really. But I was so pleased with what she said.. I started to think about it. What if I was really a model? Not like Kate Moss or something, but a model who gets paid what- just a little? But imagine what I could do with all that money! For example.. I could possibly buy a new camera, or new clothes!

Just that I could never ever tell any of my friends. Maybe one or two, but not a single more. They would laugh. And what would it even bring? Laughter from the whole school. (in our everyone knows everything. Like last week: one very sweet pair broke up, and in fifteen minutes one of my friends came laughing to class: Lisa and David broke up! Isn't that funny? I always knew Lisa was such a bitch!" And I sit on my chair like: poor them.) So in our school there is no privacy whatsoever. Aanyway. I guess there is no point at all. I'm not that pretty like a model should be, I guess. Oh, well. But the idea was pretty. Ha! I could imagine my parents watching some tv-show, and then someone calls them like: "What has your daughter been doing last times?" And they are:" Oh, we're so proud of her: she's got a boyfriend, at last!" And then that person who's calling says: "Oh that's what you think, really? Well, watch this website, she's a model now! How shameful!" And my dad would stand up and tell me everything he thinks about me humiliating them, and even mum would be ashamed. Oh, I'd be so happy. *dreamy*

But well. I searched for some modelling agencies, and the only ones we have here are.. Some random, nearly dead agency with three over fifty-years-old models. Female, of course. And as they say on their website: "No nude pictures for our girls!" Perfect. Okay, I'm on the same page with that no nude pics, but that they call themselves girls.. *horrified.*

Then there is a model agency where Sharon is. She's a very (oh, and remember: on this blog every single name is not real, I'm not that stupid to let anyone even guess my true identity..) popular girl in our region. Like .. with whom can I even compare her. Maybe with.. Anne Hathaway? A girl very pretty and oh so nice, her parents go to church every single sunday, pray so loud no one wants to know what they are not praying for.. okay, maybe I'm little overdoing it now. But she's just.. I don't know. Too perfect? And no, I'm not saying that Anne Hathaway would be so. But Sharon is. When she turns up at some boring school meeting our teachers sit more straight. Ha! I know who she might be alike. Know Footloose? The movie? Well, she could be that girl, the preachers daughter, dating a nice guy, but from the view of few single people, she's a moron. Sorry, Sharon. So.. Her modeling agency. It's big. It's famous. And it's owned by some of "Sharon's best friends families." As one of my friends says every time.

Maybe I should just forget about it.

Note to myself: never dream of something what you surely can't have. For example being a model.

I guess I don't have the guts to call or e-mail any agencies, because they might refuse me. And if not, they might want to take pictures. And then, on both sides, something would happen.

Shakespeare in Love

Hi!

Last thursday was one

of the weirdest thursdays in my life.

Accidently, I run into my friend

I long hadn't seen.

She lives in another town,

so it was a railwaysstation we met.

We sat there for hours.

On the bench spitten on

by every early teenage boy in town

we sat, and talked.

First it was about shopping,

the play in her school and then.

We came to the subject of Love.

I had always thought I knew a person well

if she or he was known to me

by the name, profession and the interests.

How one flirted, walked, talked

and behaved near the opposite sex.

But I knew nothing then.

She told me what she seeked,

in the area of Love,

and I told her mine.

There were thousands things

which neither of us knew ourself,

but by the moment we opened our mouths

the words, wishes, feelings and most secret dreams

were christal clear to both of us.

Quite possibly, I know,

I still don't know her as well as I do myself,

but in the end, who do we know as well?

In a mood of romance

I 'invested' in a lipstick called 'Blush in Romance'.

Kill me but I do not know by whom it was.

Just after that I went to a dvd-shop

(where they still sell vhs- how cute)

and still in the mood, bought the Shakespeare in Love.

Now I've watched it.

1998 it was made,

and a good movie indeed it is.

It is a movie of Shakespeares three weeks of love.

Three weeks of Love,

breathing at last,

after years of living dead.

He falls in Love, writes about it,

living in a dream which will soon end.

Yes, there is a trick-

no one will ever deny it now.

She's marrying a man of fortune,

not a poet with non-existing career.

And if we think about Shakespeare himself

what do we know about him?

Just what he wrote.

But even that will tell us enough.

He must have loved

or dreamed of love

for none of us humans can write anything

like he wrote

if not telling about himself

or a person he knew as well.

But maybe he was just never

in fortunes favours enough

to fall in love.

Oh dear. I feel like a parrot now. But since there are only few people who have written to me commenting anything I write here, it's okay. (I guess)

-Ellen

The Last Song

After seeing the movie 'the last song' I wanted to do somekind of a review on it. Then I thought about other films I have been watching lately. And decided to do a top three thingie.

Firstly, The Last Song.

The movie is about a broken family, and the main character is the teenage girl of this family. She's brilliant with piano, and her dad, who's living now on the beach, had always been teaching her. Now, the summer after high school, she's trapped in a small town with her little brother, no friends and dad she absolutely hates. But after something like a half an hour, she gets a milk shake thrown on her and a very cute guy saying sorry for like five minutes. What happens next is actually not something one would thing at the first or even the second minute of the movie. (and this is not a spoiler, so no hard feelings) I have to admit, I usually don't like Miley Cyrus' movies. Nearly always because they are just too.. American. I love how Miley is always happy and all smiley and even if she's failing something, something better happens in five minutes. Yeeah, that is possible by us, all non-Mileys, but c'mon, I wait at least a week before my luck changes. So.. in this movie it was nice and somehow calming to see her in a role where not everything is perfect, where she actually hates someone and doesn't smile all the time. Like a normal face in between. Sometimes.

I was watching this movie with my friend, whom I hadn't seen for a long time. (okay, not that long. Since christmas..?!) And, as you know, a girl always wants to look descent when meeting a guy after long time. It's like.. like meeting an old schoolfriend after five years of not seeing or hearing of her. Or.. if you see an ex-boyfriend. You seriously want to look perfect. So after spending hours and hours doing my hair and nails and make-up and choosing slightly sexy clothes. Just a little bit. (and now we all shall forget all the time I spent in the stores looking for some trendy, fitting things.. And anyways, I needed them.) We go into the town, he looking incredible, and then come the words which I didn't want to hear. "honey, let's go and watch the Last Song, I know you want to see it anyways, so why not with me?". What I wanted to scream in the middle of our little shopping street was: "Freaking NO! Why the hell would I want to watch a film where every single girl cries with you?" I actually think you know what I did- went and watched it. And so fucking what, if I cried in front of a guy I fancy. No. I don't fancy him. He's just a really hot guy. But back to the movie: in the middle of the film I understood my eyeliner was on my cheeks, as he brushed my cheek with his hand. :) wanna know how happy I was about that?

The second movie will be now so much spoken of, The Kick-Ass!

I watched it with a bunch of girls, we laughed so much the poor kiddo near me was scared the whole time..

The movie is about a guy who's all that nerdy, and comes to this idea: why doesn't anyone just be a superhero and try to change the world?

So he does it, buys a suit and with the perfect world of Youtube (wuhuu!) he does it: becomes famous, and finds his dreamgirl and so on and on and on. Funny, and smart. And it actually gives many things we should think about: we (not even we in the small city where everyone knows each other) don't help an other man whom we don't know. And we don't want even to see it. We turn around and walk another way. And why is that? Because we don't want to take the hate on ourselves?

-Ellen.

p.s. And yes, I know, I didn't take here he third movie. But it's late. And I'm exhausted. Sorry.