Silly girl. Again

Silly, silly girl. There's not much more to say. The one word "Silly" describes it more than I would want. I've messed up. Again. Such a huge suprice, since I'm writing in here.

Remember those times when you feel just crap, and then suddenly remember some silly and plain stupid thing you have done in your life? This might be too personal. But then, since no one know's who I really am, and is probably reading this like Jones' diary, it does not really mean anything, does it?

I've lied to my teachers. Once. I mean, not a small lie like 'I didn't have that paper because I was so upset with my boyfriend'. Since that could really be true. And as they have seen, I get upset not that easily, as far as they know, so they have no reason to believe I'm lying. Never trust me in the boyfriend stuff, teachers!

I've lied to my friends. This sound stupid, but at that time I believed I had to make myself more interesting for them. Now I think, if they don't see who I really am inside and I have to make up something for them, then they are not worth it. If they say to me I'm beautiful only with make-up or they are ashamed to be with me when I have somekind of clothes on me which do not suit their needs, then it's too bad. 'Nice meeting you, now get out of my life'-style.

I have fallen for my every single one best friend. And since they all have been boys, it's supposed to be normal. What is not normal, that we have broken off before I have been able to confess my undying love for them. Which is good, because it's so horrible. So, I have fallen for every single one. Which leads me to my point: now, my lovely best friend.. A guy. guess how my thought continues? exactly.

I adore my best friend too much. And that he live's on the other side of the lake and has a girlfriend does not really do any better for me. I'm his buddie, one of the guys.

I think.. I think I should not tell about my horrific parties we have been on. Finding him in a closet with a girl and the having to talk with him how good she was is not nice. Not at all.

-E

Spain

My friend called me the other day and told me she had (for the first time of her life, I may assume) crushed madly in likening with a Spanish boy. The first words I told her? "Welcome to hell, my friend. But I'm still very happy about it."

She, herself, said that it probably would not last. That probably he would find a better one or she would not share the same feelings in few weeks, maybe even months. If something is sad, then that's that. Nowadays, if we crush/fall in love, we constantly think about "will it last"? or "will he cheat?". That leads me to the Questions "Why?" and "What does it even matter?". Why do we even care? Is it the young age of Romeo&Juliet that leads us to the worry of age and lasting? What if Juliet had been twentyfive-- or-or, fourty four? Would everything be different? Should misleaded human beings accuse Shakespeare for all that crap?

But I really want to know, is why. Why does it even matter, if it does not last? Can't we enjoy the moment, live on the wave? Is it because of our weaknesses? Because we are scared of letting go?

-Ellen

She and He is a Them?

The school's starting in few days.. And my parents are off, as well as my friends are. So on one side, I have the whole house to myself, but then.. There's nothing I could do. Because, let's face it, it is somehow pathetic to sit alone in a house when no one is around, and trying to have fun. Drink? It seems to be called Alcoholic Problem nowadays to drink alone without a heartbreak or some friends around one. I don't really dare to go outside now, for there are those classmates of mine there (pathetic, I know.) and staying inside is just strange. So now I'm deciding what to do.. And I have no freaking idea. :D Just my luck, to have this opportunity and not use it.

I have been sitting on the balcony the whole day now.. Right after I bid my good- byes to my dearest parents. Taste the sarcastic flow, now will you? :) Oh just don't. It could possibly ruin your affections towards me. If there are even any.

Anyways, I thought that I might try to do some Ginger Ale now, since I have nothing to do (shush, everyone forgets about repeating last years stuff to this year of miserable school life, and no one has to remember any books which we were given to read during the summer..)

and have some time to use now. And then I had those few things to cook. For example, I found this pretty amazing salad, and a pie.. Oh, I just have to do it.. :D

This is just boring. And now it's raining outside.. :P Why am I even writing this? :)

Now, I know what to do- I will write here stuff out of my Black Book! Before you will laugh, I want to say this: This is pure insanity. What if someone will someday recognize me.. Let's say, it happens. I do then this: pack up my stuff, change my name and move to another side of the country. Easy.

1.8.2010

She and he is Them?

I spent the whole day with her. And guess what she's talking about? Him.

Now, let me explain. I care about her. Much. After all, we've been friends like forever- yeah, for me eleven years is forever. Now, after my long waiting, she's fallen in madly likeness. (I don't know what Love is, do I?) She madly likes him, spends nearly every second thinking about him, talking about him. I hope he won't do the Facebook Follower's Test. She would be completely ruined. Humiliated.

After all this long telling, can we (me and me from the future, btw hi!) assume that they are in a relationship?

Relationship? Yeah.

Romantic one? Kinda.

What the hack does that mean? Yep. No idea. Is a romantic relationship something where they snog&care? Because these do care. Not snog. As far as I know, if they would, she would come jumping out of joy to me. This mysterio is surely getting deeper. He calls her from 1000miles, she talks all night with him on phone. She wants to get some fresh air after school, he tramps with her all around the town and lake, catches cold (no shit, Sherlock. Freaking six hours outside without a jacket in cold!) in the middle of the big exams week. In school they don't identify each other. Strolling beside each other like anything would matter. And then cursing and blushing.

Someone tell me, is there a THEM?

Now. This is it. I made it. :)

-E.

P.s. yeap. Def Ginger Ale tomorrow.. :D